Beauty and the beast — and me

Have you ever be the Beast, loving someone so perfect yet you know that you’re half human, and half monster?

With the Little Mermaid movie going live in the theatre, people are talking more and more about Disney’s live-action movies. Their most remarkable ones revolve around Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella.

This topic came to my conversation last week. In that conversation, he mixed up stories of Belle, Cinderella, and Ariel — a thing I never thought even someone who doesn’t watch Disney Princess’ would mix up. There, I realize that maybe he doesn’t even know the story of Beauty and the Beast — and by it, he may not know that the half-monster and half-human can fall in love with a beauty who’s perfect all in all.

On our third time going out, I told him my first heartbreak — failing a scholarship. Giving more explanation, I told him that love has never been a problem for me as I was an ugly girl that nobody would ever love — moreover, with all the mess my family and me had (this, I talk to myself). Yes, I had many experiences that told me to my face that I was not worthy — either it of my physical appearance, mental state, social status, or whatever they mentioned one by one. Not even someone who told me he’d love me no matter what could stand me.

Well, this is just my diary being leaked out by myself, being read by the lucky you who just happened to stalk me. I gotta be honest...

I am scared.

I am scared to fall again.

I am scared to hurt again.

I am scared to be called a monster… again…

I am not going to have my hopes high as who am I to be loved back by a prince.. but still, hopes are just expectations that keep us alive, no?