Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow

The story of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow has always been popular folklore, especially for Irish people. This story got people a moral story of finding something you want to achieve. It is so popular that it ends up being an idiom. However, sometimes it was used in a negative form – as finding the pot of gold is not likely to be true, and is impossible.

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Having my trip to Labuan Bajo, a paradise island in Indonesia, I had my thought of my pot of gold.

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Building Ourhome in 2018, I realized my passion for education. I know that there was a part of me, called of it. However, to have it as a full-time job. Hell no!

Back then, being a girl boss, donating her profits to education charity whilst having her career in a more sustainable industry was all I want.

Eventually, growing up, getting my first job and curating my life in the “real field”… I realized that I’d driven too far from that “ideal” life I want. Looking at where I am now, a girl boss is far from what I am currently walking in.

Doing my 9–5 job with really good pay on my 20 surely is a dream come true for at least 50% of the Indonesian population. However, my heart was not there. I always found myself crying at night – denying that this will be my forever.

For it, I decided to do a maneuver, giving up my everything, far from the “stable” life, for education – something everyone knows will gain me no “gold” in Indonesia. From all the money I collected since I was in high school to the money I got as a management trainee, all was put in a gamble for the master’s in education I’m pursuing. All the time I got, all the thoughts I had, all the energy I had, for education.

However, yes, what can I do with an education major? With all the sanity I got left, I often ask myself, “Why am I that crazy to give up everything for something that’s not even seen as important in Indonesia?” it surely is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow – an impossible dream, an impossible task.

Sometimes, I cry (again), wishing I didn’t make the leap, wishing I won’t get the scholarship or the university.

However, love will always win. I’ve fallen too deep, and given up too much. Looking at the face of my kids, I forgot all the “gold” I have thrown away. Looking at Bajo and its wonderful children, I wander back to my gold at the end of the rainbow.

Yes, I got the scholarship and got admission to the universities I wanted. And, yes, I said “yes,” again, and again.

So, what is my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Is it the number of zeros in my bank account, is it the number of countries I traveled to, the number of people I led, or…maybe it’s just one – a life I changed.

A part of me still wanted the breakfast on five star hotel with people look up to me as a “girl boss”.. But, a big part of me… just wanted a little girl to smile at my face and tell me, “Thank you, you saved me.”

.. And maybe that’s my pot of gold.

and for the “impossible” part, I’ll let you know in 10 years, ok?

Will it be “just” a rainbow there, or will there actually be a pot of gold – that it is not impossible to rework the education in Indonesia, that the smile of that girl is still possible.