The beginning.
August 2023, I packed my whole life and dream in a 36kg luggage to a city on the other side of the world from where I was born and raised. Starting with a simple dream to “change the world,” I boldly left a life I built my whole life to the city known for its specialty in breaking people’s hearts and dreams.
Undoubtedly, the path was not easy; more than just some days, I questioned my decision to be in the city of New York.
However, would it be surprising if I said now, though I hate and doubt my existence in this city, I have my whole future dreamt in it?
I met the love of my life, someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.
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It was a rainy night, and I saw a man sitting by the restaurant window waiting for me. “Meeting a stranger on your birthday eve, what a crazy girl,” I told myself. Honestly, I have no idea what I should be expecting. I just wish he was not a weird guy.
Sitting there for three hours, I found myself smiling ear to ear, telling him things I had never imagined being open with to a stranger. That day, I felt comfort and security— finally, being enough. Indeed, every person could see how pure and vast his heart is, how bright his mind is, and how beautiful he is, just as a person. That day, I returned home with relief, telling my best friends that I just had my best date ever. “How many girls has he made fall in love with?” I whispered under my breath.
“I can’t fall for him,” I know for sure I would not be able to handle any other heartbreak, not after the heartbreak that killed me in 2022. I am not ready to fall, try again, or be broken again. I am not ready to trust again, to see people fall out of love with me again, or for people to give up on me again. Moreover, how can someone like him fall for someone like me?
However, as much as those twinkly eyes and beautiful smile must have captured so many hearts, I realized I was not an exception. After a second date, I found myself kneeling in the corner of my bed, praying to my Father for that man. “Abba, if he is the one I have been searching for all my life, let me see him the way You see him; let me love him the way You love him.”
The plot twist? He falls for me, too. Just like magic, I found myself being convinced, day by day, that he was my one. Not even a single day has passed since that day that I did not find myself kneeling and crying for him in the presence of my God. Not a single day did I not find myself falling even more profound for him. For this time, I want to try again; I want to trust again. For this time, I have someone I would love to spend my whole life with. Someone I know will not give up on me, someone I know will love me forever.
It needed me to travel 16,166km on a twenty-four-hour plane ride to meet him, a bold life decision that indeed changed my whole life, yet never a single day did I regret everything I gave up now that I found him. In fact, he is proof that made me sure that I made the right decision. Alex is proof that when I walk in God’s vision, He will give the provision. He proves that God cares and listens to all my cries and needs. Now that I have found him, I found all the “why” I asked all my life. Now that I find him, everything makes sense.
For the first time in my life, I thank myself. I thank myself for that crazy birthday eve decision I made; indeed, he will be my best birthday gift forever.
*P.S... he is indeed a weird guy, but that made him a perfect fit for me even more.
Alexander, if you read this, “i love you” :)
