The little big dreamer who walks by faith

Since using my social media ten years ago, I have always had “little big dreamer” as my bio. Back then, it was as simple as people called me a little girl due to my small body, but I know they also see how big my idealism towards the world is. However, gradually, I added “ — by faith” to the statement. Now, it is a “little big dreamer who walks by faith.”

As a little Alphani, I never realized how meaningful that bio is. Lately, I have reflected a lot about the bio I label myself as. Indeed, I am a tiny human with huge dreams. Who knows, I can only be here today, yet I have to achieve the big dreams through faith. I would lie if I never considered deleting the “by faith.” Honestly, yes, it is burdensome. What if people think I’m too religious? What if people don’t see me as a good Christian? What if people, through my bio, reflect it on my life and end up not believing in faith? However, lately, God reminded me to change the question. What if, through that bio, people could see how God works in my life? What if, through that bio, people finally understand who Alphani is and Christ who stands by Alphani?

This world is a battleground, indeed. Lately, I’ve realized that walking with faith truly means focusing on hope; all you see is a black pitch of darkness, full of war and a corrupted system. Lately, I’ve seen how faith is a huge thing to have. Has anyone told you that walking by faith can mean walking with a stare and judgment from people, saying that all you do makes no sense? People, even I, sometimes ask myself why I would take all these extra miles, walking with “only” hope as my base, doing things people think are crazy if things do not work out. I, too, am slowly giving in to those thoughts. But again, God is faithful and has always been and will always be faithful. If what happened up to today was all those stuff people called crazy and nonsense, why could God not make the same nonsense miracle again?

Walking through the wilderness, indeed, the road looks unending and dark. We screamed, yet no one could hear us. We ran, but there were roadblocks here and there. God said to knock and to seek, but somehow, it feels like no doors are opened, yet no light is sparked. Lonely and empty might not even be a perfect phrase to describe.

However, little things lately have made me see God has made the Israelites walk forty years through the wilderness to get into the promised land. Still, God never left them alone, stranded, hungry, or uncomfortable. Israelites go to the wilderness, but God also provides them with enough food every day, providing them with the pillars of cloud and fire. Even God parted the sea for them–something seems impossible, but God made it possible through the hopelessness. All the Israelites must be faithful and keep walking; Jehovah–Jireh, He will provide.

I would not lie—these days feel like a wilderness for me. It seems like there are roadblocks at every turn, impossibilities, and big, big mountains. However, God is faithful and God is good. Again, He sparked the faith inside me. Again, with the bio I will keep forever to describe me, I want to trust–He will provide.

Alphani, the little big dreamer, who walks by faith.